I came from a large extended family and holidays were spent there with Grandma and Grandpa. The house was packed, the tables filled with good food, every chair or space to sit was filled.
I think they must have been in their late 50s in my earliest memories. Every time I was there, I took these people for granted. Grandma was always cooking, and catering to everyone.
When I was a young newlywed, I asked my husband to take me for a visit every now and again. The house was empty, so different from the holidays. They were always happy to see us come. Something was off, though. The holidays weren't the same crowded affairs. I would ask if they had seen this one or that one and they said it had been a long time. They all had their own thing going on. Not even my uncles and aunts had been for a visit. The older relatives had passed on. Grandma would say someone had called. It felt so sad. We had rented a house nearby, so it was no big deal to run over for a visit.
Kids (yes, I was essentially still a kid) look in the refrigerator. When I checked, it was pretty empty. Seems their income and bills didn't match. One day, we stopped and they were eating oatmeal. Of course, we weren't in much better financial shape. I remember being angry that one of their kids didn't bring food over or help with some of the repairs they needed. My father was disabled, but I had 3 uncles who could have come to help. They didn't. I knew they were able to pitch in. They didn't.
I suppose you are wondering what I'm getting at, huh? It would appear that the times do not change, just the aging people. Don't let the holidays be the only time you reach out to old Aunt Mable or old Uncle Richard. Maybe what goes around will come around for you. Don't let your life get too busy, you'll be old yourself, one day.
This is true. Lack of time and distance does play a part. But also I think people just think that there is always time later. But after there isn't
ReplyDeleteSo true. "One of these days ..." is often one reason. Sad that it happens.
DeleteI think I reached that day.
ReplyDeletePerhaps, Joe. There always seems to be someone older and more frail than ourselves.
DeleteGood advice. Our kids are good to us but I can't help but remember one whole year John didn't hear from his oldest son and now that the money train is nearer----
ReplyDeleteIsn't that the way with some? Ah, the money train, yes. Some don't even care then.
DeleteI don't have any older relatives to reach out to, I'm the oldest one now except my sister who is mentally "different" and doesn't much like to have people visit. I keep in touch with my two youngest kids more than the older two who are busy with their own children. I see them a few times during the year and my brother more now that he is living in my city.
ReplyDeleteThose few times a year, I imagine you wish it were more often ...
DeleteI recall pink homes. One of our neighbors when I was young had pink and purple place with flamingos. It was land mark when direction was given to get to our home in 1960's
ReplyDeleteCoffee is on
LOL Those ugly pink houses sure did stand out, didn't they?
DeleteYour grandparents' house is so typical of the houses I lived in as a kid. I lived a lot of the time with my grandparents who both had large extended families. Everyone is gone now. The last one was my grandma who died two years ago at 101. NOW...my husband and I would be the old ones I guess.
ReplyDeleteThat is quite sad when older people can't manage on their fixed incomes. Tragic really.
It is sad, too bad the utilities and taxes etc aren't fixed to match the income.
DeleteSad too, that almost everyone is gone and yes, we are the old ones.