Thursday, July 9, 2015

Letter From Home



This is a different letter from home, bear with me, Folks!

First of all, DH bought one of those portable spa units last month. He finally made a platform for it, so that it's level on our cement slab behind the house. Living where I do, I am naturally concerned that the space beneath the platform is like a 4 star motel for the snakes in the area. He set up the tub and filled it on Sunday. Yesterday, was Wednesday, right? He still hadn't tried it out. Now - because of blood pressure problems etc. I am NOT supposed to get into a nice steaming hot bathtub. BUT, the temperature hadn't reached decently warm yet, so I decided to test it out. Water temp was 91F, air temp 85F with a "feels like" of 93F. The water felt like a normal swimming pool, not warm, not cold. I climbed in - wearing panties and a tank top - remember - I live in the boonies. No, there will never be any pictures, not even from the back! Forget that right now.

DH turned on the bubbles. Viola! I did not expect that much action out of a $350 deal. I had some problems. I couldn't stay sitting! I believe I must be 80% fat, because fat floats on water. The bubbles were trying to send me all over and trying to turn me over - doing a 2-way rotation. I finally managed to anchor myself enough nor to end up with water in my o2 tube or down in my lungs. It wasn't bad! THEN I told DH to climb in with me. Higher water, more buoyancy. It was actually pretty bleep funny to any bird in a tree. You have got to know, this was a whole new experience for me. I thought it would be like a whirlpool bathtub. Nope, more jets, maybe not as strong - I don't remember exactly, but I never had bubbles like that or felt like a leaf in rushing water. Remember I wore a tank top? I have a bad shoulder and DH had to peel it off me later. I need to rethink my 'tub-wear'.

Now, on a more somber note. My doctor had told me several (?) years ago that my short-term memory loss was from lack of o2 to my brain. I believe I have something more serious, as it continues getting worse. I'm still me, but some of the things I forget make no sense and it happens every day. It is very frustrating. I read about all the problems that caregivers have with their dementia or Alzheimer’s patients, not much out there about the patients themselves. I feel I am living it, every day. The notes on my monitor are numerous, I forget my pills, I forget where I leave them. I remember  ... up to a point, and then I'm blank. I have eaten supper twice thinking I hadn't the first time and then I wonder did I take my pills twice? I sometimes forget to eat--all day. Then I don't take my pills or drink anything. It's messing with whatever - oh bleep, I forgot what I was going to say. Bleep! I don't drive anymore, mainly because the arthritis in my hands gives me no good grip on the steering wheel. I have gotten myself lost, nothing looks familiar, and I drive and drive until I see something that I know. I worry, that someday down the road, I will end up taking the car out and be waving at my neighbors in an oncoming car - forcing them off the road. Not impossible, my neighbor had Alzheimer’s and he did that exact thing to me. They did hide the car keys then. I don't like this, not at all. The doctors are aware, yet they still ask ME what pills I need refilled, they have my charts, I honestly thought they kept track of what they were prescribing. Needless to say, I'm missing a couple. The last time I went, I told her I needed a new Rx for one of my breathing meds. SHE didn't do it. Doctors - what are they going to do for me? Maybe give me pills that I won't remember to take or take them twice thinking I hadn't the first time. 

I know - don't tell me, I have half a dozen of those day of the week pill cases, but I can't be expected to carry them on my person 24 hours a day or to remember to fill them after I have used the last day's pills. (A year ago - maybe. Now - no.)

Pa-leeze, do NOT tell me how sorry you are, or to get better, or pray, or tell me to go to another doctor (been there, done that, doesn't mean squat). Pity - I don't need. I am just writing this as a thought. Who knows, you may be next.

Have a great day, people!



12 comments:

  1. well, i AM sorry. and concerned. and unable to offer any bit of advice or help. just means i care.

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    1. I know you do, Theresa. (Nice to know) :)

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  2. Sometime you have to laugh to keep from crying at growing older. I've recently started visiting a cousin in an Alszhimer (sp and I don't care) unit. When I ask an employee to let me out he teased me and said oh no, once your here you have to stay. I thought yes since I can't remember that code to punch to get out I may be next..

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    1. That's funny, Paula! Oh, yeah, I laugh more now, Because I do some stupid stuff. Occasionally I misunderstand people and have to go over what they say in my mind. I mis-read something and yes, I ask, did you say ____? or "did that make sense?" My spelling has gone the way of all things, and I don't care all that much. There is always spell check if I really want to bother.

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  3. This is happening to my aunt right now. I believe it started when she went to the grocery store and couldn't figure out how to get home. There are drugs to slow the progress, and her doctor does blood tests on her regularly.
    Your hot tub adventure made me laugh..I won't get in them anymore at a hotel, and we don't have one at home, but I had a similar experience the few times I have tried them. I think I am 8-% fat also! LOL! Have a good weekend.

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    1. Hi Terri. I am not sure about the drugs that are supposed to slow the process. I think perhaps it progresses at its own rate, whatever that may be. My mother had dementia, she seemed to go in spurts and quirks - I went to visit her and she remembered my brothers, and kept calling me by my dead sister's name. Me? Nope, I was Gloria. She forgot smoking cigarettes - good for her, but if this crap can make you forget an addiction ... I can't figure out if I am going to embrace it or forget too many pills or take too many and that will take me out.
      I will be trying the hot tub again - with less water and low temps. It is nice out back. Different birds guarding their nests and I can see the horses.

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  4. I know how you feel. I have been having memorie loss and more than a couple of times I've rung my hubby in tears because I can't remember how to get home I don't know the answer. Maybe an alarm on your phone to remind you to take your meds. And yes if it comes down to that lots of post it notes. Dementia and Alzimers are definitely on my mind as well. It's a very scary thought lets just hope we at least both remember each others blogs. Then we can remind each other

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    1. It is scary. I take medicines at 5 different times during the day - an alarm would make me more confused I believe. I keep most of my notes on my monitor, I know I will gravitate to my computer for sure. Haha!

      That's a nasty bruise on your leg, sorry about that.

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  5. Well, I'm just glad you have not lost your sense of humor. Oh, to be a fly on the wall as you and DH floated around in those bubbles!

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    1. You would have been laughing and screaming too, Bobbi!

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  6. Your description of the first time in the 'tub' had me chuckling! But how frustrating and worrying for you, those memory 'lapses'. (I'm visiting via Angela's blog as I notice that just about every time I leave a comment on that blog, you've written one just before me! Lol)

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