Losing it Part II

Okay, okay, I will continue the blog for a while. I have decided to keep the blog - if y'all will understand if I don't comment or respond to a comment, or if I don't make sense at times. Maybe I could just leave a smiley face if I can't think of something to say? I try to read everyone's blog and respond accordingly, but sometimes I just don't know what to say. I will sit here cogitating for the longest sometimes. I even wonder - do I need a comma in there? Sitting here and trying to think what to say is very hard on my legs, feet, and back.

Remember when we were young and saying we would never end up being like our mothers? Yeah, I believe I have begun to travel the same road. Mom's been gone 25 years or so, but I can remember how her mind seemed to fade as the time passed. Before she passed, she hardly acknowledged me, I was my sister. It took her a long time to get to that point - like 10 years, I would guess I might be at year 3, maybe, hopefully, fingers crossed. Doc said it was a matter of not getting enough o2 to my brain. 

 
I've started to watch The  Twilight Zone and the first show I put in, well, I wasn't actually looking at the TV, and there was some man saying the intro as if he were reading it off the script. I looked up and there he was. Obviously, it took him a while to pick up that signature intro sound. LOL! I'm still in the first year, it will take a while to see all of the shows. 

Have a great weekend!

Letter From Home

This is a different letter from home, bear with me, Folks!

First of all, DH bought one of those portable spa units last month. He finally made a platform for it, so that it's level on our cement slab behind the house. Living where I do, I am naturally concerned that the space beneath the platform is like a 4 star motel for the snakes in the area. He set up the tub and filled it on Sunday. Yesterday, was Wednesday, right? He still hadn't tried it out. Now - because of blood pressure problems etc. I am NOT supposed to get into a nice steaming hot bathtub. BUT, the temperature hadn't reached decently warm yet, so I decided to test it out. Water temp was 91F, air temp 85F with a "feels like" of 93F. The water felt like a normal swimming pool, not warm, not cold. I climbed in - wearing panties and a tank top - remember - I live in the boonies. No, there will never be any pictures, not even from the back! Forget that right now.

DH turned on the bubbles. Viola! I did not expect that much action out of a $350 deal. I had some problems. I couldn't stay sitting! I believe I must be 80% fat, because fat floats on water. The bubbles were trying to send me all over and trying to turn me over - doing a 2-way rotation. I finally managed to anchor myself enough nor to end up with water in my o2 tube or down in my lungs. It wasn't bad! THEN I told DH to climb in with me. Higher water, more buoyancy. It was actually pretty bleep funny to any bird in a tree. You have got to know, this was a whole new experience for me. I thought it would be like a whirlpool bathtub. Nope, more jets, maybe not as strong - I don't remember exactly, but I never had bubbles like that or felt like a leaf in rushing water. Remember I wore a tank top? I have a bad shoulder and DH had to peel it off me later. I need to rethink my 'tub-wear'.

Now, on a more somber note. My doctor had told me several (?) years ago that my short-term memory loss was from lack of o2 to my brain. I believe I have something more serious, as it continues getting worse. I'm still me, but some of the things I forget make no sense and it happens every day. It is very frustrating. I read about all the problems that caregivers have with their dementia or Alzheimer’s patients, not much out there about the patients themselves. I feel I am living it, every day. The notes on my monitor are numerous, I forget my pills, I forget where I leave them. I remember  ... up to a point, and then I'm blank. I have eaten supper twice thinking I hadn't the first time and then I wonder did I take my pills twice? I sometimes forget to eat--all day. Then I don't take my pills or drink anything. It's messing with whatever - oh bleep, I forgot what I was going to say. Bleep! I don't drive anymore, mainly because the arthritis in my hands gives me no good grip on the steering wheel. I have gotten myself lost, nothing looks familiar, and I drive and drive until I see something that I know. I worry, that someday down the road, I will end up taking the car out and be waving at my neighbors in an oncoming car - forcing them off the road. Not impossible, my neighbor had Alzheimer’s and he did that exact thing to me. They did hide the car keys then. I don't like this, not at all. The doctors are aware, yet they still ask ME what pills I need refilled, they have my charts, I honestly thought they kept track of what they were prescribing. Needless to say, I'm missing a couple. The last time I went, I told her I needed a new Rx for one of my breathing meds. SHE didn't do it. Doctors - what are they going to do for me? Maybe give me pills that I won't remember to take or take them twice thinking I hadn't the first time. 

I know - don't tell me, I have half a dozen of those day of the week pill cases, but I can't be expected to carry them on my person 24 hours a day or to remember to fill them after I have used the last day's pills. (A year ago - maybe. Now - no.)

Pa-leeze, do NOT tell me how sorry you are, or to get better, or pray, or tell me to go to another doctor (been there, done that, doesn't mean squat). Pity - I don't need. I am just writing this as a thought. Who knows, you may be next.

Have a great day, people!

Something that makes me say, "Hmm"

My father was in some sort of something - He was in uniform in a couple of pictures, but I cannot find any military information on him. If I were to guess, I would say the cavalry, but in 1935? I could use some info on just what kind of uniform he is wearing.

1934-1935?

1934-1935 - Dad kneeling in front with my mother (seated)

What, it's Wednesday?

The doctor's office always calls the day before an appointment to confirm, right? So... I don't pay a whole lot of attention to what day it is, it doesn't matter, they are all the same around here. The girl called about DH's appointment yesterday for the 30th... You do see where I'm going with this, don't you?

All day yesterday, I thought it was Wednesday, and this morning I thought it was Thursday - until I saw Run*Around*Ranch Report. Hmm... then I bothered to look at my calendar/date on my computer. Doh! Okay, Theresa, I admit it, you help me keep my head on straight as far as what day it is.

Now... about my blog - I spent about 25% of my monthly "allowance" for my wifi watching the eclipse live for several hours, copying and pasting some of the pictures. (the reason I am not on much right now) I was absolutely stunned as I watched it up close and personal through the telescope in Prescott, AZ. I had the image on full screen and could actually see the action going on - especially on the one marked spot. I was glued to the monitor in absolute awe! Unless you've seen it actually happening, well, you have missed something spectacular.

 They had questions and answers and real scientists discussing what was going on. The site also shows other celestial happenings when they occur. There is a different shot on my facebook page. Some days my life is not so boring!

Memory Loss

There can be some good things to be said for memory loss. I decided to gather my 'best' versions of the stories I have written, into a single file. I was kind of surprised, I haven't been writing much more than three years (I think). Now - these things are all the completed versions - I had so many that my files seemed to go on forever. I clicked on one to open it up because I had no idea what it was. I was happily surprised when I saw it pop up on Word. I read it again, it's not too shabby.

Another good thing about memory loss, is movies - there is something familiar, so you watch it and because you only faintly remember watching it and cannot remember the outcome - you enjoy it as if it were the first time. After my son was born, twenty four years ago, I was amazed at how many episodes of *MASH* that seemed 'new' to me. My doctor said it was hormones or perhaps the lack of them.

I really don't want to delve into the bad things of memory loss, that's no fun.